My Fear of Writing

make words not warCreative Commons License photo credit: tech no logic

Panic.
Anxiety.
Fear.

Those are the three feelings I can describe as I sit to start writing posts for this site.  I haven’t written anything of importance in over 3 years.  My university writing of using big words in run-on sentences with impressive quotations to make myself sound intelligent is years behind me. I’m worried that I can’t access the creative part of my mind that I used to enjoy exploring.

For the last few years  I have been using basic language to communicate to my students, coworkers, and Korean strangers.  I fear that I won’t be able to bring to the page my ideas with the eloquence that is required of someone who takes up a morsel of internet space and wants to call herself a blogger.

I am a person who owns over two dozen journals.  Some are locked with a secret key and labeled “Kristin’s Private Diary;” some have stickers of 1990s pop stars and hearts around them; many others are disguised as mature notebooks.  All of them have been documenting my world since I could  read and write.  The pages include my constant questions and confusions growing up, my crushes, my relationships, friendships, and adventures. Some poetry. Some pretty words.  And many, many fast scribbles.

How the hell does one move from such a method to a publicized domain?

I’m about to find out.  I’m about to jump in.  Because if there has been one thing I’ve learned since moving to Korea, it has been to stare fear in the face and knock it down before it can dominate you.  If I would’ve listened to fear,  I would not have  moved to Daegu on my own, nor traveled solo to Cambodia and Laos, nor founded a theatre company in a foreign country.

So, here I go.  Stepping up.  Sitting in front of this screen, a little calmer, but still nervous as to what might end up on the page.  Let the adventure begin…..

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My Fear of Writing

make words not warCreative Commons License photo credit: tech no logic

Panic.
Anxiety.
Fear.

Those are the three feelings I can describe as I sit to start writing posts for this site.  I haven’t written anything of importance in over 3 years.  My university writing of using big words in run-on sentences with impressive quotations to make myself sound intelligent is years behind me. I’m worried that I can’t access the creative part of my mind that I used to enjoy exploring.

For the last few years  I have been using basic language to communicate to my students, coworkers, and Korean strangers.  I fear that I won’t be able to bring to the page my ideas with the eloquence that is required of someone who takes up a morsel of internet space and wants to call herself a blogger.

I am a person who owns over two dozen journals.  Some are locked with a secret key and labeled “Kristin’s Private Diary;” some have stickers of 1990s pop stars and hearts around them; many others are disguised as mature notebooks.  All of them have been documenting my world since I could  read and write.  The pages include my constant questions and confusions growing up, my crushes, my relationships, friendships, and adventures. Some poetry. Some pretty words.  And many, many fast scribbles.

How the hell does one move from such a method to a publicized domain?

I’m about to find out.  I’m about to jump in.  Because if there has been one thing I’ve learned since moving to Korea, it has been to stare fear in the face and knock it down before it can dominate you.  If I would’ve listened to fear,  I would not have  moved to Daegu on my own, nor traveled solo to Cambodia and Laos, nor founded a theatre company in a foreign country.

So, here I go.  Stepping up.  Sitting in front of this screen, a little calmer, but still nervous as to what might end up on the page.  Let the adventure begin…..

There are no comments yet. Be the first and leave a response!

Leave a Reply

Awards

Kristin’s Backpack won 1st Prize for TESL Ontario’s 2011 ESL Week Blog Contest.
About Me


Welcome to Kristin’s Backpack! I jumped on the blogging bandwagon in 2010 to share my Canadian-theatrical-backpacking perspective on my world adventures. With my return to Canada, I will continue to dig into my pockets and reflect on life as it has come to involve Teaching, Travel, and Theatre. Time to unzip the pockets!
Portfolios
Check out my past and current work here: 

Kristin's Library
Looking for some interesting reading material? Check out my Reading Picks and Bookworm post for some ideas! 

               
This is what summer is all about- finished a book yesterday and am on to the next today.  I just opened The Book of Negroes by Lawrence Hill, which has been on my shelf for ages.  I have been extremely interested in reading accounts that stem from true stories in a dark history that is often swept to the side.  
At the same time, I have been listening to The Maze Runner series as an audio book and have been extremely captivated by the young characters’ circumstances and their view on the world.  
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